Like many students who moved to big cities for summer internships, I found my Atlanta residence through Craigslist. It was described as a rustic house near a college campus that was inhabited by six male students. I was so excited; I assumed it would be like living with my guy friends from school: laid back and fun, with endless parties.
Chalk all that up to a 21-year-old's naiveté. “Shocked” doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt upon seeing my summer residence for the first time. Mold and dust were the house’s chief inhabitants, as well as strange men ranging from 24- to 40-years-old, suffering from a variety of ailments, from alcoholism to sociopathic tendencies. They were definitely not the fratastic guys I expected.
There’s Roommate #1 (no names included for anonymity’s sake), the 40-year-old alcoholic man who crashes on the couch. This man, unemployed and recently kicked out of his parents’ house, recently had a run-in with the law (on Thursday) after stealing someone’s keys at a bar and holding them (the keys, not the person) ransom for $200. Then there’s #2, aged 32, who tells me that he dabbles in porn (under what capacity, I have no idea) and hops from job to job, currently working as a loans officer at one of those “Get quick loans now!” places after getting fired from his valet job.
Roommate #3 is a 24-year-old former drug addict who actually does go to the college. He continues to hit on me despite being rejected numerous times. Apparently, my constant rejection of his advancements has convinced him that I am bisexual (which I’m not, but if you are, good for you), so my newest activity is dodging his graphic girl-on-girl inquiries, while continuing to field his advances. Roomie #4 is a hippie who worships Jerry Garcia and is always covered with in a cloud of smoke. From his appearance alone, I would say that he hasn’t showered in a while, though I may be mistaken. #5 is the house manager, a redneck college grad who befriends a dubious bunch of characters—-from fellow rednecks (including one whose obnoxious voice carries throughout the house with every “y’all” he utters) to dear Roomie #1.
So why did I stay, you ask? Well, before moving in, my parents tried to tell me it was a bad idea to live with a bunch of guys. But I convinced them I would be fine, and they agreed to pay the full rent before I moved in. There's no way they would pay for me to live elsewhere after all the grief I gave them!
This summer is a complete departure from my living situation at school. There I live with OCD girls, in a house completely spick and span 24/7. Oh well, I guess this summer is just destined to become one of my best anecdotes.
--Ed’s intern #3
P.S.- None of what I have written in this entry is a lie or hyperbole.
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